gut wrenching sadness.

yesterday the sky started to fall. 
im so sad, i dont even know where to begin. 
the man i love says he no longer feels the same way. 
i was supposed to move across the country to be with him in four days. 
im not going anymore. 

im so sad, 
how could everything i was ever sure about be so totally wrong? 
who can talk sense into the man that i love so utterly deeply??

what am i going to do with myself?
how am i going to find the strength to re-tell the story time and time again as people wonder why im still here?
more importantly, what am i going to do with myself? 
how am i going to hold back the tears as my heart breaks time and time again?
how do i stop the burning pain in my chest?
how do i sleep the entire night, and not lie there in total shock quivering with tears?

i love him. 
i love him so much. 
i still love him even though he made me feel like this.
am i stupid for feeling this way?

i love him.. 
i love him.

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