open letter..

dear mz thang..

i want to personally thank you for shitting all over my public bathroom at work this afternoon. id like to take this opportunity to tell you that you should probably never eat the poor grade fast food you had for lunch again. your body is not absorbing the meat like substance they use in their '"beef" patties. i think that's where your problem began today. a word to for the wise.. if your guts feel like they are going to fall out of your abdomen, you should head for home; not to a retail outlet where you find fabulous for less. and if for whatever reason you find ourself out shopping, and can only make it to the store bathroom, make sure your ass has full contact with the toilet seat.

it was not a fun afternoon for me, when i realized that the pure stench coming from the bathroom was nothing more than raw human waste all over the toilet, wall and floor. i could tell you tried to clean it up a little. but lets be real.. you and i both know, you'd only get a 3 out of 10.

i hope you got shit all over your underwear, pants, and shoes. and i hope that you had to get straight to something important.. a place where everyone there was like "hmm.. what is that disgusting smell..? it reminds me of an outhouse, or rotting roadkill baking on a hot day.. that couldn't really be her could it? she wouldn't smell like a 3 month old soiled baby diaper.. ?? what. is. that. SMELL?!!?"


abria | superwoman

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